02 mai 2008

Bureau of Awful Trite Labels

De notre confrère indien Subhash Arora, ce délicieux article ô combien d'actualité, quel que soit le pays concerné (en anglais):

The Bureau of Awful Trite Labels (BATL) is a new sister agency of the long-established Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (BATF). The head of the agency is Professor G. Farnsworth Spellum, a former professor of English at Rutgers University, New Jersey, and one of the leading cliché fighters in the English Language today.

The agency is expected to end the spate of clichés popping up on back label copy all over the world.

The first phrase to be struck down is: "This wine is immediately approachable, but will yield rich rewards if held several years." Dr. Spellum said that 512 wine brands now convey this message on the label, far beyond the limits of human endurance.

The second phrase to be eliminated is the use of "hand-crafted" on the back label. Dr. Spellum noted that over 600 wineries are using the words "hand-crafted" in spite of the fact that all the wineries doing so have a great deal of mechanical equipment in their cellars.

Another phrase to be banned immediately is 'Great wines begin in the vineyard.' This is particularly confusing to Dr. Spellum. "It was pointed out to me by a well-known wine consumer familiar with all the lower end wine categories (under $5.00) that bad wines also start in the vineyards, except the very few wines that start in the chemistry lab. Obviously this phrase has been mauled into incomprehensibility."

Dr. Spellum also noted there will be specific issues with specific varietals. The use of the premium varietal pinot noir in conjunction with the phrase "seeking the Holy Grail" will be banned.

Also to be banned are all sophomoric puns on zinfandel such as zeven deadly zins, zinphomaniacs, zincere, zintillating and the substitution of inelegant words like bubblies, fizzies, sparklies and popsies for Champagne or sparkling wine.

Another issue that will fall under the aegis of the BATL will be the writing of wine and food pairings. Starting in 2009, all wine and food pairings listed on back label copy must meet the rigid guidelines soon to be published.

"Terroir is another word that can have vastly different implications depending on a host of intertwined factors, geographical as well as philological. In my opinion, this cliché belongs to the French, and they should rightly have it. What happens in Burgundy stays in Burgundy," says Dr Spellum

"There is no doubt in my mind that the elimination of wine clichés and the introduction of new and exciting literary phrases to the genre will create a renaissance in back label copy writing,' he is reported to have said at the press conference attended by Napa valley register."

00:24 Écrit par Hervé Lalau dans Vins de tous pays | Tags : vin | Lien permanent | Commentaires (2) | | | |

01 mai 2008

Du regretté Michel Audiard

"50 kilos de patates, un sac de sciure de bois, il te sortait 25 litres de 3 étoiles à l'alambic. Un vrai magicien ce Jo. Et c'est pour ça que je me permets d'intimer l'ordre à certains salisseurs de mémoires de bien vouloir fermer leur claque-merde!"

Les Tontons flingueurs (1963)

14:30 Écrit par Hervé Lalau dans Vins de tous pays | Lien permanent | Commentaires (1) | | | |